Senior graphic designer and NOD contributor Chris Costello talks about navigating and transcending crisis in his creative career.
I love watching documentaries and reading books about famous artists. What inspires me most about the lives of creative personalities is that they have all gone through times of desperation and uncertainty along the path to greatness.
Steve Jobs endured the most challenging period of his life after he left Apple in 1985. More than a decade of struggle dubbed his “Wilderness Years” helped Jobs become even more convinced of who he was and how his ideas would change the world. He emerged from that period to become the “Thomas Edison of our day.”
Frank Lloyd Wright, perhaps America’s greatest architect, frequently retreated to the desert during his “wilderness years” where he “endured a… wilderness of the spirit, of professional isolation and of physical and emotional uprooting”.1
I believe we all have wilderness periods in our lives that we must learn to navigate. I have lived the past few years with an ever-increasing amount of stress in my life and disappointment in my career. I convinced myself that I was a no-talent fraud who would be better off farming radishes than being an artist. I was working too much, while accomplishing too little. I was spread too thin and involved in too many things I had simply lost interest in. When it all started to affect my health, I realized I had reached a point where I needed to take an inventory of everything in my life and just reboot. I am emerging from that dark place right now and here is what I discovered.
When you feel you have hit a wall, or cannot continue on the same path using the same methods you have used in the past, you need to change course. Life seems to happen in phases where what worked five years ago is ineffective today. By choice or by force, you eventually take a path through the wilderness to face new realities and make new choices about who you are and what you must do in the next phase of your life. Sometimes this is called growing up. Yes, it’s scary, difficult and discouraging, but it’s necessary and exciting to discover what new possibilities are in the clearing beyond the trees.
When you hike in the wilderness, you must consider what you really need to survive. You begin by casting off what is not needed to complete your journey because your chances of survival are greater when carrying a lighter load. There is baggage we have all carried for so long that is just not relevant to our lives or careers anymore. We need to first decide what we DON’T want to do (at least for now). I have decided to stop working 12-hour days because I value time more than money. I discovered that I really don’t want to be a creative director if it leaves me no time to create my own work. I like designing Web sites, but don’t like building them. When I become too overwhelmed, I don’t want to do anything… and that’s just fine.
Once I discarded the things that seemed indispensible I came to enjoy the peace that comes with letting go. I was now free to develop new ambitions and focus on new dreams that are appropriate for my age. I made a detailed list of things that I want to accomplish this year and over the next decade – short and long-term goals in development of my spirit, body, family, finances, career, and so on. I want to paint on canvas, simply for the love of it. I started yoga with my wife. I lost 25 pounds while in the wilderness and will continue on the path of better health. This spring I will resume training in Tea-kwon Do now that my daughter is old enough to do it with me. I am a bass player who now plays guitar. I am designing coins for the United States Mint (a life-long dream of mine), along with other exciting plans on the horizon that I could not see while I was in the weeds.
If you lose a dream, then enter the wilderness to find a new one. We must all have something to look forward to in life and a hike in the woods may be just the diversion you need to help you reexamine your priorities. Further advice on hiking is don’t go it alone. Sharing your struggles and dreams with close friends helps get you through because someone you know has probably been down that path before.
Whatever you enjoy doing, try to take it a little deeper. If you sketch on notepads, paint a mural. If you like fonts, design one of your own. If you are a corporate designer, use orange and purple. Read more biographies. Try apples in your salad. Serve at a food pantry. Play a djembe. What I remember most about growing up was that there were so many new places, people, art, music, and more, all waiting to be discovered. We need to keep that level of excitement throughout our lives so we will be better prepared for the challenges and discoveries that come with our next walk in the wilds.
1. Frank Lloyd Wright: A Life By Ada Louise Huxtable Penguin, 2008.
Chris is a senior graphic designer and his award-winning work has been featured in Graphic Design USA Magazine’s American InHouse Design Awards annual issues since 2005. He is an Associate Designer at The United States Mint, has designed several original fonts, including the notorious “Papyrus”, and is a freelance artist. (www.costelloart.com)
Wow, Chris, your piece spoke to me so clearly! I’m in just that place, and even have some of the same responses. When I’m overwhelmed, I just shut down. I have been thinking about changing direction, and this will help me take the first steps. Thank you for sharing your encouragement and love of life and family.
Unbelievably poignant, impacted my spirit to the core and helped make some extremely difficult decisions crystal clear. Thank you for sharing, it has helped in ways you will never know.
You got me neary to have goosebumps – I’m excactly in that phase and a few weeks before I’ve read your article I got to the point, that I have to change something – an to start something on my own. But there is still uncertainty all around me….
Great article!